...he will always be my Jack...

The year was 1997.  DDB and I had been together for just about a year and half and Titanic was the box office mega-hit.  We became completely obsessed with the movie and saw it seven times in the theaters.  I have friends who later told me (after his death) that we also used to act out scenes in his pool, although I deny any memories of that!  'Till this day Titanic still makes me cry like a teething baby and I can't listen to My Heart Will Go On without wanting to slit my wrists.  The scene at the end when Rose has finally died and she goes back to the ship and sees Jack and all of the other passengers, well, that is exactly how I imagine seeing him again one day.  Sans the ship, of course!  But I truly believe that no matter how long I live, when we do meet again, we will be meeting in a place and time that represents the height of our love-fest. 

In the meantime I get to see him in dreams.  As the years go by the dreams are fewer and further between, but every now and then, and usually when I'm least expecting it, he will show up.  I captured the feelings of these dreams (and related them in a totally sappy way to Titanic) about three and a half years ago.  Amazingly, the feelings haven't changed a bit...

In the quiet of my own mind, lost in a dream world, with no one else around, today I was in the most wonderful place...
There I was looking for him, and there he was waiting for me.
Almost missing the chance, he turned around and smiled.
Never have I seen him look so beautiful.
Never did I hold on so tight.
Lost in his "unbelievable blue eyes" I hoped the moment would never end.
This time I knew I really would "never let go."
Emotions so painful and joyful, at exactly the same time.
Crying, tears of happiness, in a state of bliss.
And once again, as I awoke, it was all ripped away...
My heart will go on, but he will always be my Jack...