"Here they come to snuff the rooster..."

Last night my sister, my parents and myself got into a light-hearted conversation about our wishes. As usual, we all had different opinions on the matter and how we want to be handled when our time comes. As a former Anthropology major I’ve always been fascinated with customs and rituals around the world. I thought it would be a neat little experiment to compare my family’s desires to some of the traditions around the world.

Requests of my Family

• My sister: Sister #1 does not want to be laid out in any way, shape or form. A quick memorial service is okay but definitely no prolonged, sad funeral affair. And we can still go out to eat, of course! (My response to this: do we really need another excuse to go out to dinner?)
• Mother: Ma was a little wishy-washy on the subject. First she said it might be nice to be cremated, but really she’s only thinking about it as being cost effective. Then she changed her mind and decided that she doesn’t want that because she’d like a grave where people can visit. I pointed out that cremated remains are buried all the time (example #1: DDB-dearly departed boyfriend)and that she shouldn’t base her decision on that factor. If she really wants to go cheap we can just have a bonfire in the backyard.
• Father: Da wants a no frills ceremony. He didn’t specify anything other than these two key points: 1) He wants to be buried in tobacco and 2) We should play Alice in Chains’ Rooster. I’m sure I will respect his wishes.
• Me: I want your standard wake and funeral. Lay me out and line them up! Open casket, sad music, video montage…the works! And if you are so inclined you can bring me gifts to celebrate The Day of the Dead. Don’t ever forget me and grieve as long as you need. (I’m basing this on how I handle losing loved ones and what has helped me through the process.)

Traditions from Around the World

• I’ve always been enamored with the Latin American holiday El Dio de los Muertos, or The Day of the Dead. Some cultures bring feasts to the graves of their dead loved ones and others have a special dinner, setting a place for their loved one at the table. After the meal the food is then placed outside, as an offering. What I’ve always loved about this holiday is how the lives of the deceased are remembered and honored year after year, instead of being “forgotten” because it is so often taboo to talk about dead people in our culture. How often are we told that time will help us to forget… 
• Practice in ancient Rome had the eldest male relative lean in to “catch” the last breath of the dying family member. Intense.
• Some Chinese traditions are based on the belief that the relatives of the deceased will have more luck if more mourners attend the funeral. Thus, it is now common to find strippers at these Chinese funerals.
• In Tibet, bodies of the deceased are given a “sky burial.” Sounds nice, right? Think again. The body is dismembered and left for “nature” to dispose of . This is done because in this culture it is believed that the spirit leaves the body after death, therefore rendering the body useless.
• In India wives of the deceased were expected to throw themselves on the funeral pyre alongside their husband. Good wives anyway. And I say were expected. This practice was apparently done away with in the 19th century but I’ve read inklings of it still happening…
• I recently read an exhibit at the Museum of Natural History that I believe was about some South American Indian Tribe. Unfortunately I don’t remember the name. I do remember the custom of ingesting the remains of family members after they have died. Yes, you read that correctly…ingesting...

(Some of the examples come from memory from my Anthro courses, one I already mentioned I read about at the museum, I learned a lot about the Day of the Dead from old co-workers, and others I’ve read about online. A quick google search for funeral customs will lead you to a plethora of information if you care to read more on the matter.)

Similarities? Differences? Crazy all-together?